Don't you just love a surprise ending? Yeah, me too.
July 29, 2009
July 27, 2009
July 20, 2009
Let us Feast!!!
Today marks my fourth birthday in Korea. Wow. Time flies. Well, since my birthday is normally celebrated around the globe (the globe in my mind), I hope everyone has a better than usual Tuesday.
Thanks to my kind and generous coworkers and boss I was bestowed with gifts of wine and cherries. A three pound box of dark sweet cherries. With gifts that luxurious, I think I'll spend the day lying in a reclined position drinking wine from a goblet while a wench feeds me cherries and a leg of mutton. How kingly I shall be.
I made a surprising discovery recently. My grandmother also has a birthday in July and she just turned 83 (Go Nans!). My birthday is today and I've turned 26 (Go me!). The interesting thing is that I was born in 1983 and she was born in 1926. Coincidence? Omen? Glitch in the Matrix? You be the judge.
Fun fact about my grandmother: She one stabbed a pirate in the neck because he stood in front of the TV when her soaps were on. Just saying. Don't mess with her.
Thanks to my kind and generous coworkers and boss I was bestowed with gifts of wine and cherries. A three pound box of dark sweet cherries. With gifts that luxurious, I think I'll spend the day lying in a reclined position drinking wine from a goblet while a wench feeds me cherries and a leg of mutton. How kingly I shall be.
I made a surprising discovery recently. My grandmother also has a birthday in July and she just turned 83 (Go Nans!). My birthday is today and I've turned 26 (Go me!). The interesting thing is that I was born in 1983 and she was born in 1926. Coincidence? Omen? Glitch in the Matrix? You be the judge.
Fun fact about my grandmother: She one stabbed a pirate in the neck because he stood in front of the TV when her soaps were on. Just saying. Don't mess with her.
July 19, 2009
Perspiration Nation
One thing I can't understand about Seoul is the abundance of saunas. They are all over the place. There's one in the building where I work, on the same floor, and another in the basement too.
What boggles me is not that people want to cleanse their systems with a little spa visit, it's that the summer weather is already insanely humid and hot. You can get your sweat on anywhere, so I don't see the point in going to a sauna. I've seen people sweating profusely on their way to the sauna, so I can't figure out the point. Is sweating more enjoyable when you have to pay for it?
It makes about as much sense as being in Canada in the winter and then paying to hang out in a giant freezer.
What boggles me is not that people want to cleanse their systems with a little spa visit, it's that the summer weather is already insanely humid and hot. You can get your sweat on anywhere, so I don't see the point in going to a sauna. I've seen people sweating profusely on their way to the sauna, so I can't figure out the point. Is sweating more enjoyable when you have to pay for it?
It makes about as much sense as being in Canada in the winter and then paying to hang out in a giant freezer.
July 18, 2009
July 16, 2009
Deaf Jam
I was on the bus a few days ago listening to my ipod when suddenly the music I was listening to changed to something I'd never heard before. It took me a few minutes to realize that the new music I was hearing was coming from the gentleman sitting next to me. He was also listening to an MP3 player with headphones.
That's astonishing! How can sound being fed directly into my ears be overpowered by sound coming from speakers plugged into another person's ears? This must mean that either I've developed superhuman hearing ... or that dude is listening to music so loud his colon is bleeding.
Please be superhuman hearing, please be superhuman hearing, please be...
That's astonishing! How can sound being fed directly into my ears be overpowered by sound coming from speakers plugged into another person's ears? This must mean that either I've developed superhuman hearing ... or that dude is listening to music so loud his colon is bleeding.
Please be superhuman hearing, please be superhuman hearing, please be...
July 10, 2009
Mysterious/Carnivorous
I must give credit to my brother, Darron, for coming up with the concept for this comic. I can always count on him for a weird, yet hilarious, suggestion.
July 9, 2009
Fun with Electricity in Waterworld
My word it is raining a lot these days. It's like hurricane-level rainfall. I was walking to work today and got drenched. And I had an umbrella! It was like the rain was trying to shoot up my nose or blind me.
Anyway, it's not all bad because I've recently purchased a wondrous invention: An electric flyswatter. If for some reason you can't guess what it is, it's a tennis racket crossed with an electric chair. Practical, fun, and so simple a well grounded baby could use it.
I used to get pissed off when mosquitoes harassed me in my apartment, but now I leave windows open and heaps of rotting fruit lying about just to increase the chances of an "encounter". I can't believe I spent so many years using messy flyswatters like a barbarian. Now I can destroy insect life with the power of SCIENCE! The way God intended.
Anyway, it's not all bad because I've recently purchased a wondrous invention: An electric flyswatter. If for some reason you can't guess what it is, it's a tennis racket crossed with an electric chair. Practical, fun, and so simple a well grounded baby could use it.
I used to get pissed off when mosquitoes harassed me in my apartment, but now I leave windows open and heaps of rotting fruit lying about just to increase the chances of an "encounter". I can't believe I spent so many years using messy flyswatters like a barbarian. Now I can destroy insect life with the power of SCIENCE! The way God intended.
July 8, 2009
July 5, 2009
Full Circle, Square, Triangle, X
An observation:
From the seventies to early nineties, video arcades were a common sight in western malls and shopping areas. It was a great opportunity to play unique games with guns, mallets, footpads, steering wheels and other interactive controls.
Then the nineties rolled on and the arcades slowly disappeared as home consoles got better and better. Nowadays they've pretty much vanished besides the few aging machines occasionally at the cinemas. Japan still has an arcade culture, but it seems to be more for prodigious rhythm game players, people gambling on virtual horse races, and those who find it amusing to jam plastic fingers into asses.
After the arcades died a strange thing occurred, home consoles began offering odd game accessories and add-ons like guns, bongos, dance mats, maracas, cameras, etc. This trend actually started long before arcades went away, but it only intensified at the turn of the millennium. In the last five years we've seen the birth and rise of the Nintendo Wii, Guitar Hero, and Rock band which have caused gamers to jump around their living rooms with plastic instruments or swing their arms wildly with motion controllers.
The age of the peripheral is reaching critical mass as people are seriously running out of room for fake drum sets. Now with the announcement of two more motion control systems at E3, and the marketing of Tony Hawk's motion-sensing skateboard or DJ Hero's turntable controller, the picture is clear. Once we went to the arcade to try something new and play in very physical ways, but now that experience happens in our own living rooms. Shooters with guns, music with instruments, and sports with physical movement.
The arcade has been reborn ... in every home that is willing to collect these devices. The only difference is that we used to pay a handful of quarters to jump around like a moron, and now it's costing us hundreds of dollars.
From the seventies to early nineties, video arcades were a common sight in western malls and shopping areas. It was a great opportunity to play unique games with guns, mallets, footpads, steering wheels and other interactive controls.
Then the nineties rolled on and the arcades slowly disappeared as home consoles got better and better. Nowadays they've pretty much vanished besides the few aging machines occasionally at the cinemas. Japan still has an arcade culture, but it seems to be more for prodigious rhythm game players, people gambling on virtual horse races, and those who find it amusing to jam plastic fingers into asses.
After the arcades died a strange thing occurred, home consoles began offering odd game accessories and add-ons like guns, bongos, dance mats, maracas, cameras, etc. This trend actually started long before arcades went away, but it only intensified at the turn of the millennium. In the last five years we've seen the birth and rise of the Nintendo Wii, Guitar Hero, and Rock band which have caused gamers to jump around their living rooms with plastic instruments or swing their arms wildly with motion controllers.
The age of the peripheral is reaching critical mass as people are seriously running out of room for fake drum sets. Now with the announcement of two more motion control systems at E3, and the marketing of Tony Hawk's motion-sensing skateboard or DJ Hero's turntable controller, the picture is clear. Once we went to the arcade to try something new and play in very physical ways, but now that experience happens in our own living rooms. Shooters with guns, music with instruments, and sports with physical movement.
The arcade has been reborn ... in every home that is willing to collect these devices. The only difference is that we used to pay a handful of quarters to jump around like a moron, and now it's costing us hundreds of dollars.
July 3, 2009
July 2, 2009
Things I Hate: Parents Suck Edition
Parents Who Let Their Kids Run Amok
You know what I'm talking about. These halfwit parents who seem to think there's no problem with letting their sugar-filled children run around public places disturbing all manner of civility. They plague almost any place you might want to go: theatres, malls, restaurants, outdoors in general. Children screaming and knocking things over while their parents talk on cellphones or stare depressingly into the middle distance and wonder where their life went wrong. Snap out of it, lady! And please tell Blake, or Chaz, or Gabe, or whatever his name is, to sit down and shut up! It sucks that these kids have no manners, but the parents suck more for not teaching them any.
Parents Who Are Tyrants
This might seem like the opposite of the first one, but really I'm talking about parents who are burdening their children with all their personal hopes and dreams, and pushing them far too hard at too young an age. If teaching in Korea has taught me anything, it's that some parents will do anything to force their children to succeed in a competitive world. In one particular example, I've heard tell of a young girl in the first grade who had to attend public school, several private academies, do online lessons, and complete homework assigned by her own mother. She's in the first grade!! Why is she doing four sets of homework? That's child abuse! It sounds like this child would have barely enough time to sleep, let alone play with her friends and do other important carefree things that make childhood joyful. Mom and Dad, stop suffocating your children with work and structure!
Parents Who Are Anti-Video Games
This is ongoing debate that is certainly not going to be solved here, but I'll throw in my two cents. I won't even try to tackle the whole "video games promote violent behaviour" issue, but simply complain about the "video games make children lazy and dumb" issue. I hate that statement because it's about as stupid as the parents who make it. For some reason parents want to attack video games for creating a generation of inactive social introverts. I guess because when you play games you sit in one spot, indoors, and that's about it. Well how is that different from tons of other activities? Writing, drawing, watching TV, using a computer; these are all activities that keep you fairly immobile. And how about reading!? Parents are always pushing their kids to read and study, but what is more inactive than that? You can't read Shakespeare while mountain biking. Yet no one attacks books for making kids lazy. I played games all throughout my childhood and I still found plenty of time to play outdoors, get exercise, breathe fresh air, and expand my imagination.
Also, parents who think reading is going to make kids smarter than playing games have obviously never seen a Japanese RPG. Studying history would be a relief from the reading required to play those games. I'm not saying games are going to make you smarter or boost your reflexes and coordination, but they are certainly not going to make you stupid. It's not a passive experience; you make choices and become engaged with characters and stories. A parent who is concerned about their child being lazy and dumb should get involved in various activities with them and teach them something. Instead these parents who are angry at their kids for playing video games too much, probably have their own asses parked in front of the TV.
Also, parents who think reading is going to make kids smarter than playing games have obviously never seen a Japanese RPG. Studying history would be a relief from the reading required to play those games. I'm not saying games are going to make you smarter or boost your reflexes and coordination, but they are certainly not going to make you stupid. It's not a passive experience; you make choices and become engaged with characters and stories. A parent who is concerned about their child being lazy and dumb should get involved in various activities with them and teach them something. Instead these parents who are angry at their kids for playing video games too much, probably have their own asses parked in front of the TV.
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