Security with Sizzle

Attack of the Jones

Much to my delight I was able to see the new Indiana Jones movie on the weekend. I was so pumped about witnessing a new adventure that I brought my own whip and lashed a few people on the way in. Don't worry, they were cool about it.

The movie was excited as a whole and certainly an above average action flick but I was disappointed by the use of CGI throughout. I remember reading long ago the Spielberg was going to make this new film with the same sort of "hands on" stunt work and special effects that made the original trilogy so great. But he totally lied.

The CGI is not overused, but it's definitely used throughout. The opening shot of the film is that of a computer generated prairie dog. A prairie dog? C'mon, that's just lazy! I know prairie dogs aren't extinct, it's not like the movie involved one moonwalking in a cape. That sort of thing pisses me off, and it was probably George Lucas' influence.

George Lucas must be in love with computer created special effects. His prequel trilogy of Star Wars films are disappointing on an huge scale. The creatures, vehicles, environments, characters, and props are almost entirely from a computer. It was relied on too much and weakened the spirit of the story. How can actors convey something serious and compelling when they're moving blindly around a green screen set for 80% of filming.

CG should be used to make the impossible seem real. Not as a way to duplicate reality. So if you're making a movie with a dragon, turn to a computer. If you're making a movie with a gopher, check the backyard.

War/Ear Drums

Mitch & Roland: #40 Spicy

Every now and then I think fondly of the food I used to enjoy in Korea. Food so spicy that it would pin you to the ground and force you to say uncle before it would release you. After two years of facing the fiery gauntlet of those meals, I must say that western spicy food just doesn't live up.

Sometimes I get a hankering for food that will set my mouth ablaze.

A Course of a Different Colour

Here are three more things to add to the list of things that suck big time.

Wrong Coloured Foods

You know what I'm talking about. Remember when they sold that nasty looking green ketchup. They even had purple ketchup for a while. It tasted fine, but it screwed with your senses. You're trying to enjoy your fries and it looks like you're dabbing them in dollops of shiny acrylic paint. Clear coloured Coke was way back, but it still bothers me to this day. All these food inventions just scream "chemicals" and "dyes", which I'm going to guess is bad. I recall seeing Doritos that would turn blue when they mixed with your saliva. That's perfect for people who enjoy digging food out of their mouth to look at it.

The Rocket Fishing Rod

If you've never seen this, take a look at it here. Apparently the only way to make fishing -Nay! - any activity cool to a child is to shoot it out of a gun. This plastic shotgun shaped toy is actually a working fishing rod that blasts your hook and line out into the water. You thought kids are overweight now? What does the future hold in store for kids too lazy to perform the simple actions of a sport that even the morbidly obese can excel at?

Ladybugs

These insects will be put on the list until they can prove themselves worthy. In the last couple of weeks these bugs have been popping up in my room and I can't locate the source. I don't know if you've seen an infestation of ladybugs before, but it's adorable and aggravating. How can you even locate the source of these things? Have you ever seen a ladybug hive, or a ladybug nest? Of course not, because they're disguised as cute things like jewelry boxes, rag dolls, and cupcakes. So if you ever come home and find a puppy wearing a tiara, you'd better act quick because it's probably housing a ladybug colony of biblical proportions.