As the summer heat begins cooking us alive I thought I'd share my tried and true techniques for beating the heat. Results may vary!
- Buy a popsicle. Break it in two and put them under your armpits.
- Spoon an electric fan during the night. If you don't have a fan, spoon a pile of cold spoons.
- Every time you get something from the fridge, accidentally drop your keys and climb inside for a few minutes to look for them.
- Wear a bathrobe that's been soaked in cool water. Or if you don't have a bathrobe, use a bunch of damp towels sewn together.
- Buy a life sized ice sculpture of a horse and then sit on it until it melts in half, then spend of the rest of the day throwing a sno-cone party.
-Eat an ice cream cone every hour on the hour until you are rushed to the hospital. As we all know, hospitals have air conditioning.
- At all costs avoid moving around and doing stuff. Cancel all plans with friends and family until the fall. Meeting people just means you have to put your clothes on and get out of that wading pool.
