Ranch Fresco

I'm currently working on another movie challenge that will be on it's way before long, but I figured I would reveal the answers to Round III's "Movie in the Middle" challenge. Here they are, and if you got all of them correct, your trophy is in the mail. For the rest of you, please accept this imaginary participation ribbon. Moving on ...

I noticed the Subway near my work is hiring; a sign in the window described employees as "Sandwich Artists". That seems like a pretty fancy job title for someone who makes sandwiches. Artist? What is artistic about placing ingredients in a pile according to someone's preference?

"Here's your sandwich, I layered the cheese so that you may see it in greater relief. I really think those tomatoes pop. And you'll be impressed with the squeeze patterns of chipotle sauce I arranged. Yes, the bread is my canvas and I'm a regular Vincent van Toast."

Give me a break. Additionally, I'm sick of every store and franchise wanting me to become a fan of it on Facebook or following it on Twitter. I really really don't need to see status updates for Quiznos or make Dunkin Donuts an Internet friend.

Superheroes That Suck

Here are some sketches I made while in university of some of the shittiest superheroes I could create. Even worse than Jubilee.

Back to the Drawing Board

Anyone paying attention will notice that there have been a number of changes to the site lately. One, all the images have gone missing, and two, there's a new design to the site. Due to my own tomfoolery I may have mistakenly destroyed countless drawings on the site, which I will do my best to replace. Don't hit me.

I hope you approve of the new look. I'm still working out the kinks, and I hope things will fall into place much like a game of Tetris. Until then, I'm just stacking up useless garbage blocks until a long block decides to show up.

Another zigzig!? Where am I gonna put that!?

Monday Movie Challenge - Round IV

There's been no feedback for "Movie in the Middle", so I'm assuming that everyone was utterly stumped last week and I will save the answers for the next round.

Today for the Monday Movie Challenge, I offer a more creative challenge that I think everyone can get on board with and enjoy. This game, which we will call "Shitty Movie", is another game I heard about while listening to random podcasts and may be my new favorite thing.

How does it work? Well all you have to do is think of a real existing movie title that sounds hilarious if we imagine the movie is about someone taking a huge shit. That's it. Gone with the Wind is a classic, but if we envision that the film is about someone on the can, it's suddenly funny. It's all about finding the right movie title.

Below I offer up some of my favorite titles that I've heard or discovered myself. I expect everyone that reads this to participate in the comments. Bring on the funny, people!

The Longest Yard

The Green Mile

Kicking and Screaming

Push

Bend it Like Beckham

Backdraft

Rear Window

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Black Beauty

Seven Pounds

Naked Lunch

Five Easy Pieces

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

There Will Be Blood

Operation Dumbo Drop

So c'mon, everybody. Make me proud.

The Food Cycle

Just like Mufasa said in "The Lion King", we are all part of the circle of life. A chicken eats a worm, you eat the chicken, a giant space worm eats you. It's beautiful, really.

All aspects of life obey the laws of this cycle, including the crummy food served in school cafeterias around the world. Here is a diagram I sketched up about 8 years ago. Man I feel old.

Monday Movie Challenge - Round III

This week I'm presenting you all with a variation of a game from one of my favorite podcasts, "Doug Loves Movies". On the show Doug and his guests try to string together movie titles with connecting words into one long chain. For this movie challenge I'll be giving you a chain of three movies and the trick is to guess the center title. I call it "Movie in the Middle".

For example, the answer to the clue The Great (~~~) Confidential would be Escape from LA because it gives you The Great Escape and LA Confidential. I think it's pretty straightforward. Good luck!

1. Cop (~~~) Boys
2. Vanilla (~~~) Never Dies
3. Red (~~~) and Souls.
4. City of (~~~) of Dreams
5. Thirteen (~~~) Attacks
6. Snake (~~~)ter Island
7. A. (~~~) Kids
8. Face (~~~) Cowboys
9. View from the (~~~) Window
10. Ham (~~~) side (~~~) Wall