Bumpy Skies

On a recent flight I witnessed a man across the aisle from me have a panic attack during some mild turbulence. Here are the top five terrible things going through my mind I could have said to him:

1. "Wow, this is the worst turbulence I've ever experienced. Do you smell smoke?"
2. "I think this flight is haunted."
3. "Shit, I had a dream about this last night. I remember you being scared right before the explosion and everything."
4. "I sure hope all this shaking doesn't knock the lid off my bee container."
5. "Sir, I just want you to know, if anything happens, ... I'm eating you first."