Another Coat of Paint

As you may notice, the site has changed a little bit. There's no real purpose behind it besides trying something new. Since the rest of the Internet changes and updates twice an hour, I figured I would too. I went with a simple clean look, but I'm open to suggestions.

Not to worry though, everything is still in its usual place and I will continue to supply as many jokes and drawings my free time will allow. Thanks again to anyone who has taken the time to read something here.

Rock rock on.

Good Morning, Body Pudding

Sally woke up and went to the bathroom to get ready for work. She washed her face with her favorite honey and oat facial scrub, then grabbed her toothbrush.

After brushing her teeth with cinnamon toothpaste, then using her citrus mouthwash and mint floss, she hopped in the shower. She washed her long dark hair with oatmeal brown sugar shampoo and then a vanilla cream conditioner. After rinsing her hair she cleansed her body with banana and pear body yogurt and then a series of strawberry, olive, and papaya shower gels.

Out of the shower and dried, she proceeded to moisturize herself with a slew of lotions, creams, and balms. Wild cherry for the body, peppermint for the feet, coconut for the hands, and strawberry for the lips. She then sprawled out in a wading pool filled with aloe for her daily soak, while a team of servants rubbed her naked body with pineapple rings and applied a rich satsuma glaze.

After breaking free of the satsuma shell she rolled around on a pile of pumpkin innards, cranberries, and goat milk while the servants flung handfuls of almond extract in her direction. Once the thrashing concluded Sally dove down a Slip 'n' Slide coated with mango body butter and slammed into a pile of tree oils, seaweed, and vitamin E.

Later, as she exited her apartment feeling revitalized and youthful, she was devoured by a group of hungry joggers.

Cindy Day of the Dead

You know what? I don't care if that reference is lost on most people. I took it there and I'm proud.

If it happens in the sky, it'll probably be different when it reaches earth.

Brace Thyself for Adorable

Just thought I would share this drawing a student of mine did of yours truly. This is easily the cutest depiction of me ever. It's also incredibly accurate. My family and friends can confirm that my eyes are the size of dinner plates, and my head is the size of a bean bag chair.

Now I finally know what I'd look like if I were a Pokemon trainer.

A Dose of Honesty

9 out of 10 doctors agree that teasing the feeble is awesome because they can't do anything about it.

Paper + Cup = Rage

Here is another video I recently added to the tube of you-ness. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed editing it together.

I also hope it inspires you to follow your dreams and/or stack paper cups.

How Dare You Question My Hunger!

At no time in Canada have I ever been questioned about food I was purchasing or ordering. Yet it happens with shocking regularity in Korea.

What do I mean? Well, sometimes when I go to a restaurant, coffee shop, or some other distributor of consumables, I get hit with a barrage of questions about my order. Are you sure? Isn't that too much? Are you really going to eat all that? Really!??

With questions like that you'd think I was ordering a metric ton of food. But I'm simply ordering from the menu. I ordered one kimbab roll and a dumpling, and the owner asks me if I think that's too much. When I say no, he comments that I must be very hungry. Another time I ordered two -GASP!- sandwiches from a toast shop and the woman asks me if I was sure I wanted two. I said yes and she warns me that I will be very full. Even after I ate them she suggested that next time I order less.

I mean, honestly, you'd think I'd walked in there and rattled off some unthinkable order:

"Hey there, how ya doin'. Give me forty-two bagels, fifty-eight coffees, all your ice cream, a crate of eggs, a hundred and twenty chicken salads. Hey Ernie! Go get the truck! Where was I ... uh ... can I buy those entire cakes, or do you only sell pieces? Cool. Give me nine cakes. What? Oh, I don't know, mix 'em up and surprise me. Let's see ... thirty liters of chocolate milk, a bucket of ham, and all the sandwiches you can possible make with the ingredients you have at this moment."

But no, I order two sandwiches made with regular slices of bread and the woman practically calls an ambulance. I really can't figure out the reasoning behind this behavior. The strangest part is that it is the person selling me the food that is telling me not to buy so much. Seems counter productive for a business.

"Are you sure you want all that?"

"Hmmm, actually I'm not sure. I think I'll go home instead. Farewell!"

I thought at first it had something to do with me being a foreigner, but then I saw other Koreans being bothered the same way. I saw a guy come into a pizza place and it turned into a interrogation. So you want a pizza? Are there more people coming to join you? No? And you want to eat it here? A whole pizza? By yourself? Really!??

Just give him a pizza!! What the hell is this? If you own a pizza shop, you want people to buy pizza! Why should you give two shits about who will eat it and how? Hungry people are your friend. Hungry people order food. A lot of food. More food than they need, and that's money in your pocket.

You know that look on someones face when they realize they have far more food than they can eat? Koreans must hate that look.

Mitch & Roland: #55 Outfit

Dear Readers,

Are you really going to go out dressed like that?

p.s. No, seriously. Are you? Cause you look like a transvestite hobo.