This Ain't Yo Grandma's Trailer

Like any normal person, I love movie trailers. I think one of the funniest things is when a movie trailer tries to maximize excitement in the audience by giving us commands on how to get ready ("hold on tight!") or by telling us how we'll react ("you'll laugh, you'll cry!"). So here is my exaggerated movie trailer. If you can, please have Don LaFontaine read it for you with his signature deep and gravely voice.

"Prepare yourself for an adventure of epic proportions. With an unheard of running time, and a special effects budget in the billions, you'd better hold on tight and pray to sweet baby Jesus that you survive this blockbuster.

This July, hold onto your ass, 'cause just when you thought you'd seen it all ... think again. With more plot twists than lines of dialogue, you'll be on the edge of your seat, and gasping with delight with every over-the-top, pulse-pounding, tear-jerking, knee-slapping, gut-wrenching, earth-shaking, vomit-inducing, ear-splitting surpise.

Be sure to quit your job and get in line now, or face missing the movie that Newsweek calls "A frozen electric fireball of fun that blasts out the screen and rockets down your throat!" and that Movie Magazine is hailing as "The apex of cinema; A movie so swollen and ripe with CGI and explosions, you'd better bring a towel to wipe yourself off"

Ken Dandley of Rolling Stone is calling it "A life changing experience. I've seen it three times already, but I'd still ride down a mountain of nuns on a toboggan made of children just for a chance to see it again. I've got three words for you people: 'Slam Dunk Bomb'."

This summer, get ready, get pumped, brace yourself, strap yourself in, call a friend, call two, get locked and loaded, strip off, rub yourself down, buckle up, and shut up as we take you on an action-packed journey to the limit of extreme that will have you standing up and cheering.

Because this summer

it all comes down

to her!

"The Wizard of Oz 2: Dorothy's Revenge and the Emerald City Showdown: Passion of the Wicked Witch"

So get ready"