Air Travel Survival Guide

I’ve arrived back in Korea after yet another long and tiresome flight. I only had the one connecting flight and most of my time in the air was between Toronto and Seoul.

As you well know, any flight exceeding the 6 hour mark is boring and awful beyond reason. My flight was more than 13 hours. There is only so much time your body will allow being crammed in a tiny uncomfortable seat; tired and not sleeping, not hungry but being fed.

But like any gruelling test of human endurance, creativity is key to help pass the time and keep the mind sharp. Here is a breakdown of some of the best ways to entertain yourself on an airplane flying machine:

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- Without revealing location, go and use one of the washrooms, then after returning to your seat allow your travel mate to then inspect the washrooms and guess which one you used. Note: this activity requires a friend, family member, or an open-minded fellow passenger.

- See how many times you can “accidentally” push the button that summons a flight attendant before you are struck.

- Stand up suddenly and shout, “A BOMB … ardier is a member of a military aircraft crew.”

- Whenever the drink cart comes around compete with a friend to see who can ask for the most idiotic drinks such as coconut milk, chai tea, sea water, papaya juice, vitamin cola, melonade, etc. Score one point for each request, and 5 points if the attendant becomes fed up and walks away.

- See how any pillows you can steal from other passengers. Use them to build a fort.

- Attempt to climb up into the overhead compartments. When someone stops you, begin to cry and complain that you just wanted to lie down.

- Bring a long shoelace with you. Take one of those hard rolls from a meal and save it, along with a little bottle of water. When the person seated next to you falls asleep, thread the shoelace through the bun and tie the end so you have a bun on a rope. Carefully soak the bun with water, but not so much that it dissolves apart. While holding on to the shoelace, cast the soggy bun over the seats ahead of you. Immediately drop the free end of the shoelace in your fellow passenger’s lap and then pretend to be asleep as well. Brace yourself.