That's right. We've all been waiting anxiously and now we will finally know which country has the best soccer team ... in the whole goddamn world. I know it seems like we figured that out in 2006, and previously in 2002, and before that every four years going back numerous decades, but this is the real deal! And I've got my money on Honduras. Honduras is a place, right? And they have and team and qualified and stuff? Yeah, right on. Go Honduras! Not too many people know this, but Honduras comes from a Spanish word meaning "Home of Durability".
I suppose I should be rooting for Canada, but apparently Canada isn't part of the world. Thanks, FIFA. I guess we're good enough for World Wars, but not World Cups. Pfft. No matter. We still have out own special cup we can win. We just don't feel like it though.
Having watched several games already, I feel I have a firm grasp of the game and how it's played. I know that if another player ever makes contact with you, you should tumble immediately to the ground in a death roll and act like every bone in your legs have been shattered. I also know that soccer fans must sound their cheap plastic horns for the entire event no matter what. Even if nothing significant is happening, and no one is actually playing. Of course there's nothing wrong with celebrating and being enthusiastic, but can I watch two consecutive seconds of a game without the crowd sounding like a bunch of dying 18-wheelers?
Soccer is an amazing game. The only flaw is that the field isn't long enough, and the nets are too small. Am I right? If soccer ever wants to be become a serious sport like golf, it's definitely going to have to expand a few acres to avoid being so crowded. Wait a minute, I'm thinking of Foosball.
Uh ... Go Honduras!!
3 comments:
there's a conspiracy afoot to keep me from getting a team Holland shirt. i had to settle for freaking France.
soccer is awesome to play. but to me, to watch...not so much.
all those soccer hooligans around the world are going to be sorry when Canada saves their ass in World War Four (WW3 already happened but it was on top of a very tall mountain and the fighting was done by small robots)
THAT was WWIII? I thought it was an episode of Battlebots.
While Soccer may not be as exciting to watch as hockey, it is still immensely more entertaining and enjoyable to watch than baseball and football. Combined.
agreed.
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