The Green Challenge: Third Update

Progress: 696 hours without meat

Status: Full, but not fulfilled.

Well, the month is just about done and the finish line is in sight to a race nobody asked me to run. Will I be a winner? It's hard to say.

There are two things I want to address in this update. The first is indigestion. I would say that I have a strong stomach, one that laughs in the face of abuse. I lived in Korea and ate a hearty diet of red pepper pastes and garlic for every meal, and I almost never suffer from indigestion or heartburn. However this month, especially in the last two weeks I've been experiencing heartburn on a daily basis.

This is an unexpected development. Does it have any connection to this vegetarian challenge? Is it mere coincidence that it started the day after I realized whiskey and mozzarella sticks have no meat in them? I'm not sure. All I know is that my stomach is upset about something and it's going to get my attention or burn down the factory trying.

The other thing I wanted to mention is the dissatisfaction I feel at times with the food I'm eating. Look, some days I forget that that I've cut anything from my diet and I live my life happily, and other days I have to resist the urge to punch my way through a chip wagon like a T-1000 just to get at the cheeseburgers. I've tried a number of meat substitutes in different meals like veggie patties in a burger, vegan sausage in pasta, tofu in a stir-fry, etc. In each case I found the food to be delicious, yet I wasn't satisfied. It must all be in my head, but I feel like something is missing, like I'm eating a knock-off version of a name brand meal.

July is nearly here, and I'm looking forward to easing myself back onto the bacon train. I'll try not to go crazy all at once. The last thing I need to go into a meat-eating frenzy on Canada Day and wind up on the news because I flipped a hotdog cart and ate bratwurst off the ground like an animal. Until then, I'm going to see if Pepto-Bismol makes a decent salad dressing.

Fractal Dragons and Hidden Pixels

If you have graph paper on hand why not draw some fractals? All the cool kids are doing it. I've been toying around with drawing and designing fractals because it's a good way to pass the time, and to look like a huge nerdy nerd. I figured I would practice with a famous one, known as the Dragon Curve:

If you want to draw your own Dragon Curve (I bet you're fucking stoked), all you need to do is draw a straight line, then copy the line again at a 90 degree angle so it connects at the end of the previous line. Then copy those two lines again turned 90 degrees. Then copy those 4 lines turned another 90 degrees, and so on and so on until you go mad or lose your patience.

I like the strange spiraling pattern that emerges after copying and rotating a few times. But it's easy to lose track of what you're doing as the pattern becomes twice as complicated each time. The picture above took me four attempts (and I still had to scratch out a small mistake).

Here's a fractal that I made up:

Now I don't know if this fractal is completely original or if it was actually discovered in the 30's by some Austrian mathematician. I just started in the middle with a cross and began branching out equally in all directions and following a few basic rules I laid out for myself.

As I was drawing it I noticed emerging shapes that reminded me of video games. Can you spot the Mario mushroom, Zelda rupees and fairies, metroids, or Pac-Man? I like the way it turned out, though I would have kept going if I hadn't run out of paper.

Stupid paper, why must you have limits while my imagination hath none?

Space Creature Sketches

Thought I would share some sketches I did recently while at work. But Shane, you say, work is where you're supposed to work. I'll be the judge of that.

The collective theme in mind while I was drawing them is alien humanoid creatures. I imagine them to be part of crew on an intergalactic spaceship. Or visions from a drug-induced trance.

The Green Challenge: Second Update

Progress: 432 hours without meat.

Status: Tofurious?

Well, I've already made it more than halfway through this month and I think things are going well. I had a few moments of desperate hunger where I came close to buying a hamburger, but I've stayed strong.

I've found myself being more irritable and easily angered this month. It's like I'm losing my patience and becoming pissed off with almost any slight inconvenience. I don't know if it has any connection to this challenge, but look at all the aggressive vegetarians throughout history: Leonardo Da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Gandhi, Paul McCartney, Ellen DeGeneres, the list goes on!

The other night I had a dream where a giant slab of tofu was rampaging through the streets destroying everything in its path. Buildings were torn asunder and the air was filled with the screams of thousands as beams of fire erupted from its lifeless eyes.

I'm just joking of course. I haven't slept in two weeks.

Monday Movie Challenge - Round VIII

Today I present a simple game I call "Vowel Movement". It's quite simple. I've taken all the vowels out of some movie titles and moved all the words together in one clump. For example, "Pulp Fiction" would be shown as "PLPFCTN". Can you figure you what they all are? All the titles have two words or more.

Good luck. And if you feel you can stump me, post a challenge in the comments.

1) DLMFRMRDR

2) CNSLVN

3) CHLRDNFMN

4) THSLND

5) LDSCHL

6) NMYTTHGTS

7) SPHSCHC

8) THLPHNTMN

9) NTHHTFTHNGHT

10) THJNGLBK

11) GNWTHTHWND

12) DCKSP

13) NMLHS

14) RDSNJ

15) CG

For those of you desperate for answers, click below.

Cinema-plosion! The Crazies of Madison County

And now for another round of "The Ten Most Recent Films I've watched". I know you've been craving some awkwardly short reviews.

Burn After Reading (2008)

It's hard to sum up this movie in a few short sentences, so I'll just say that the movie is about a web of idiots, liars, and maniacs. It's also very entertaining. I was laughing out loud on several occasions for the way it mixed humour and shocks.

Also, if you enjoy watching John Malkovich reaching 'Malkovich' levels of anger, you can't go wrong here. I thought at several points his head would explode.

The Crazies (2010)

I haven't seen the original, but I'm certain this version ups the ante with over the top violence, gore, and entertainment. I had a blast watching this, and I give it extra points for having the best " scary automated car wash" scene ever.

Session 9 (2001)

I watched this film on the recommendation that it was one of the scariest films in the last decade, and I was sorely disappointed. You would think a film about a cleaning crew working on an abandoned mental hospital at night would be overflowing with terrors, but the only frightening thing was David Caruso's "acting".

I say pass on this one. If you like movies with asylum-scares, go watch House on Haunted Hill.

Green Hornet (2011)

I don't know how true this movie stays to the Green Hornet fiction, but I do know that it was aggravating to watch Seth Rogen as that character. Aside from a few well designed fight sequences, the movie is forgettable and downright bad.

The main problem was that I hated the hero. I got sick of him being a talent-less buffoon, while his genius sidekick did everything and saved his ass at every turn. It was like an episode of Inspector Gadget minus the fun and charm.

The Ruins (2008)

One day I decided to watch this movie with my brother on his computer, and half way through his computer imploded and died. Strangely, we didn't finish watching it until over a year later. Mostly we enjoyed a year of jokes about The Ruins, ruining his computer.

Anyway, it's a movie about killer plants in the jungle. If that sounds interesting to you, then go watch it on a device you wouldn't mind seeing destroyed.

The Room (2003)

I'd long heard tales of this cult film being perhaps the worst film ever made. And all the stories were true. It was so goddamned bad that it defies reason.

However, this is perfect "so bad it's good" material, so if you have a chance to watch it with wisecracking friends, then absolutely do it. You may rupture your spleen laughing.

The Bridges of Madison County (1995)

After resisting the deliciously heartbreaking romance of a photographer and a housewife for 16 years, I finally gave in. I liked the actors, the performances, and the story, but I can probably get by never watching it again. Maybe my mistake was watching it on TV where the commercials extended the experience into a roughly 9 hour affair.

If you like romantic dramas and crying softly into the night AND haven't seen this, what are you waiting for? This county isn't getting any bridge-ier.

Tron: Legacy (2010)

For me, this is the perfect followup to Tron. Just like the original it's visually innovative, mostly boring, and yet strangely appealing. It's weird. There are parts of the film that I thought were spectacular, and everything in between I have virtually no memory of, like I fell into deep coma for huge chunks of the movie.

So I liked it. But I don't need to see a new Tron movie every couple years from here on out. The Tron mythology cannot and should not sustain a franchise.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)

I was warned by Potter fans that this movie is mostly boring and just a lot of Harry and company laying low in the forest of angst. It's true, but it was more entertaining than I expected. There were plenty of thrilling moments, and it's amazing to see how dark the movies have gotten since the cheery days of the Philosopher's Stone.

If you like the Harry Potter movies and missed this in the theatre, I would recommend renting it a day or two before Part 2 comes out. Ha, ha, just kidding. No one rents movies anymore.

Rio (2011)

A small town macaw heads to the big city and shortly after a rainbow explodes. Yep, visually the film is beautiful. It's festive, vibrant, ... prismatic? But will it go down in history as a great family film? I'm going to have to say, no.

Look, kids are going to love the colorful tropical birds, the spastic monkeys, and the gross dog, but everyone else is going to be only slightly amused.

The Green Challenge: First Update

Progress : 120 hours without meat.

Status: Determined and lonely...

So I've just gotten through my first weekend without a hamburger, a hotdog, or even so much as a reserve chicken wing. I'm feeling pretty good so far, though not especially different from a week ago. That's fine. The magic of vegetarianism is bound to set in after a while.

I'm not certain if I will lose weight in June, but it would certainly be a pleasant bonus. I'm not going to substitute cupcakes in all my meals where meat would usually be, and I'm assuming there are health benefits to eating only plants and grains since I've yet to see an obese vegetarian.

The main downside I can see with the big "V" is the semi-isolating aspect of it. It only makes sense; eating is big part of social activity, and restrictions in a person's diet will limit options for participating in those activities. Dinner parties, BBQ's, picnics, potlucks, and nearly any get-together that involves food will weed out the herbivores (pun intended). Vegetarians can still be a part of these events, but they just can't fully participate without making special requests, avoiding foods, or double checking how - and with what - a dish was prepared.

There's nothing wrong with that, it's just that vegetarians are in the minority. Out of any random sampling of people, you'll likely find more who want to go out for pepperoni pizza, and less who want to try out a Soy Fusion restaurant that just opened. To quote a classic Simpson's episode: "You don't make friends with salad".

That's right, Mystical Bacon Apparition. I'm pretty sure vegetarians face some of the most incessant forms of peer pressure possible. "Just have a taco, man, the first one's on me. Trust me. Let's just go down to the deli and I'll show you a good time. No one has to know."

I was warned by friends before I started this "adventure" that the hardest part would be trying to find a place to eat out. Only 5 days in, and I totally agree. When I went out for eats with family one day, I had no idea where to go or what to have. It's like the sole purpose of opening a restaurant is to show off well cooked meat, and nothing exists outside that bubble.

Here's how most vegetarians are traditionally greeted when trying to order:

We finally decided on a Vietnamese restaurant, and that turned out to be a truly poor choice. There was not a single thing on the menu that didn't have meat or seafood. I ended up eating plain rice and waiting until I got home to prepare myself an actual meal.

On the upside I'm getting lots of cooking practice in, and I'm forced to think outside the box. Though, I can't wait to get back in the box, because I know the box is filled with rotisserie chicken.