Cinema-plosion! The Crazies of Madison County

And now for another round of "The Ten Most Recent Films I've watched". I know you've been craving some awkwardly short reviews.

Burn After Reading (2008)

It's hard to sum up this movie in a few short sentences, so I'll just say that the movie is about a web of idiots, liars, and maniacs. It's also very entertaining. I was laughing out loud on several occasions for the way it mixed humour and shocks.

Also, if you enjoy watching John Malkovich reaching 'Malkovich' levels of anger, you can't go wrong here. I thought at several points his head would explode.

The Crazies (2010)

I haven't seen the original, but I'm certain this version ups the ante with over the top violence, gore, and entertainment. I had a blast watching this, and I give it extra points for having the best " scary automated car wash" scene ever.

Session 9 (2001)

I watched this film on the recommendation that it was one of the scariest films in the last decade, and I was sorely disappointed. You would think a film about a cleaning crew working on an abandoned mental hospital at night would be overflowing with terrors, but the only frightening thing was David Caruso's "acting".

I say pass on this one. If you like movies with asylum-scares, go watch House on Haunted Hill.

Green Hornet (2011)

I don't know how true this movie stays to the Green Hornet fiction, but I do know that it was aggravating to watch Seth Rogen as that character. Aside from a few well designed fight sequences, the movie is forgettable and downright bad.

The main problem was that I hated the hero. I got sick of him being a talent-less buffoon, while his genius sidekick did everything and saved his ass at every turn. It was like an episode of Inspector Gadget minus the fun and charm.

The Ruins (2008)

One day I decided to watch this movie with my brother on his computer, and half way through his computer imploded and died. Strangely, we didn't finish watching it until over a year later. Mostly we enjoyed a year of jokes about The Ruins, ruining his computer.

Anyway, it's a movie about killer plants in the jungle. If that sounds interesting to you, then go watch it on a device you wouldn't mind seeing destroyed.

The Room (2003)

I'd long heard tales of this cult film being perhaps the worst film ever made. And all the stories were true. It was so goddamned bad that it defies reason.

However, this is perfect "so bad it's good" material, so if you have a chance to watch it with wisecracking friends, then absolutely do it. You may rupture your spleen laughing.

The Bridges of Madison County (1995)

After resisting the deliciously heartbreaking romance of a photographer and a housewife for 16 years, I finally gave in. I liked the actors, the performances, and the story, but I can probably get by never watching it again. Maybe my mistake was watching it on TV where the commercials extended the experience into a roughly 9 hour affair.

If you like romantic dramas and crying softly into the night AND haven't seen this, what are you waiting for? This county isn't getting any bridge-ier.

Tron: Legacy (2010)

For me, this is the perfect followup to Tron. Just like the original it's visually innovative, mostly boring, and yet strangely appealing. It's weird. There are parts of the film that I thought were spectacular, and everything in between I have virtually no memory of, like I fell into deep coma for huge chunks of the movie.

So I liked it. But I don't need to see a new Tron movie every couple years from here on out. The Tron mythology cannot and should not sustain a franchise.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)

I was warned by Potter fans that this movie is mostly boring and just a lot of Harry and company laying low in the forest of angst. It's true, but it was more entertaining than I expected. There were plenty of thrilling moments, and it's amazing to see how dark the movies have gotten since the cheery days of the Philosopher's Stone.

If you like the Harry Potter movies and missed this in the theatre, I would recommend renting it a day or two before Part 2 comes out. Ha, ha, just kidding. No one rents movies anymore.

Rio (2011)

A small town macaw heads to the big city and shortly after a rainbow explodes. Yep, visually the film is beautiful. It's festive, vibrant, ... prismatic? But will it go down in history as a great family film? I'm going to have to say, no.

Look, kids are going to love the colorful tropical birds, the spastic monkeys, and the gross dog, but everyone else is going to be only slightly amused.