So Hungry I Could Mistakingly Eat A Horse!
No doubt you've heard about the horse meat scandal and feel free to insert your own hotdog joke here. But seriously, this is an outrage. Can you imagine how betrayed the meat-eating public must feel to buy the flesh of one quadruped farm animal for consumption and then find out that it's actually the flesh of some OTHER quadruped farm animal? That would be like ordering chicken and being served duck or something. I think I'm going to be sick.
Pope Benequit Says No More!
After many years reigning as the scariest looking pope on record, Pope Benedict broke with tradition and resigned. He claims it was due to declining health, but that hadn't stopped previous popes from doing whatever they do until they shrivelled up into robed raisins. It's too bad that he quit in his prime like that when there are so many that look up to him. I mean, think about it. If all those priests had thrown in the towel after countless accusations, they never would have gone on to be relocated and continue to follow their dreams.
Terror in the Skies!
An asteroid blazed its way into the atmosphere over Russia, briefly distracting youtube viewers' attentions away from the immeasurably stupid "Harlem Shake" fad. The meteor caused a shockwave that injured over a thousand people, and North Korea issued a statement declaring the meteor a complete success and a proud moment for the nation.
No comments:
Post a Comment