Some Thoughts on Snails and Drinking

I read a news article online a few days back with this title:

Much of Drinking in Canada done in excess, study suggests.

Yeah? I thought that was the point. When people drink, for the most part they are set on drinking more than they need. Plus, drinking impairs your judgment, and the first thing you're likely to misjudge is when to stop drinking the stuff that screws with your ability to know when to stop.

I like how they say "excess", as if there is an amount we should be drinking. What is the recommended daily intake of scotch? I forget.

Plus, why is this article focused on Canada? And why on earth would they need a study to discover this. It fills me with sadness to think money was spend to get this "info", when really you, or I, or anyone whose been to college or a single party in their life could have confirmed this for them.

In an unrelated matter, it really bugs me when people use the term "snail mail" to refer to mailing something through the postal system rather than electronically. Why are people doing this? It's asinine. If you mailed a letter, say you mailed it. If you emailed a letter, say you emailed it. Where's the confusion? I can't think of a situation that would call for this sort of clarification, unless your friends are all complete knobs.

"I mailed you a postcard. Did you get it yet?"

"Hold on, let me check my gmail."

"No, I actually send you a postcard."

"What? My inbox is empty. Maybe there's a delay..."

"Listen to me, I didn't EMAIL you an E-CARD. I MAILED you a POSTCARD."

"Huh?"

"Through the mail!"

"What? By snail mail?"

"No!! By mail! I didn't write you a note on a fucking snail. I sent you a postcard by mail. Go check your fucking mailbox."

"Oh, you mean the snailbox?"

"This friendship is over!" (hangs up)

So why are we changing the word "mail" to this insulting variation? It's not like once cars were invented we all started calling horses "bullshit cars on legs that get tired".