October 15, 2007

Candy Corn and Liver Failure

Every year at the end of October, thousands of North Americans injure themselves during Halloween activities. In order to spread awareness of these potential holiday dangers, here is the breakdown of the most common Halloween injuries.

- Drowning in overzealous apple bobbing matches.

- Blinding yourself while cutting eye holes in mask while still wearing mask.

- Trying to eat around the razor blades in your candy.

- Burst stomach from eating too many of those nasty mellocreme pumpkin candies.

- Falling the wrong way on a gourd.

- Accidentally swallowing fake vampire fangs.

- Getting beaten up by angry teenagers when you run out of treats.

- Back injury cause by improper lifting technique of pillowcase filled to brim with fun-sized candy bars.

- Having drunken sex in an abandoned house on the anniversary of a serial killer's demise in said house.

- Holding pumpkin while your father carves it.

- Inhaling clump of decorative spider web.

- Laughing at a knife-wielding midget hobo that you think is just a kid dressed as a hobo.

- Dislocating jaw on caramel apple.

- Tripping on cape in shower while doing the Monster Mash.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

And the number one is... Failure to release a new Mitch and Roland Zombie Comic

Anonymous said...

hahaha, "trying to eat around the razor blade in your candy"
TREMENDOUS!!

But seriously, fucking mitch and roland zombie comic: where the fuck?

Anonymous said...

You people are so pushy. Maybe I'll just freaking draw some more comic and post it here...maybe that'll shut you up. lol