The Refreshment Revolution

It's when I find things like this that I'm happy I investigate Asian grocery stores. This gem was hidden among the beverage cans.

Are you tired of trying to drink your peanuts without any milk? Do you find yourself longing for a refreshing can of soup with a smooth drinking taste? Then fret no longer! Introducing Milk Peanut with Soup! Is it a snack? Is it a drink? Is it a meal? Who knows!

I know what you're thinking: "Oh, but I've had plenty of milk peanut drinks in the past, what makes this peanut milk so special?"

Soup, bitch! Now you have the creamy goodness of milk, the satisfying crunch of peanuts, and the heartiness of a bowl of soup ... all in one! And it has all the four food groups in one convenient travel-ready can. Milk is your dairy, soups usually have grains and vegetables and stuff, and peanuts are the meat of the nut world.

It's the taste that's perfect for any situation. Been working out all day and need to replenish you electrolytes? Then reach for a frothy Milk Peanut with Soup. Having a party and the beer has run dry? Then tap a piping hot keg of Milk Peanut with Soup. Forgot your child's birthday? One force fed glass of Milk Peanut with Soup and all is forgiven.

It's great on toast, on your cereal, with crackers, and almost anywhere else. It's a universal drink that is tearing down the walls of beverage oppression. And it comes in a number of exciting varieties: Crunchy, Smooth, 1%, 2%, Homogenized, and Cream of Peanut.

Sure science and common sense will tell you that these flavors have no earthly business being together, but what does science really know about thirst? Who's to say that an ice cold soup with random peanuts isn't delicious? Or a choking hazard? I say drink now, ask questions later.

Milk Peanut with Soup ... It's the meal that eats like a drink.