More Things I'm Tired of Seeing on the Bus

A couple months ago I shared some shit I hate about my daily commute on the bus. Here are some more things that make me lose hope in humanity. Remember, kids, complaining not only feels good, it clears the blood of harmful toxins.

Filthy Windows: Nothing emphasizes the feeling of being trapped like have no view of the outside world as you hurtle through the frozen city in a shaky metal box. Shouldn't it be necessary to give the side windows a little wipe down once every couple of days so that we can raise the visibility above 0%? It feels like a safety issue, it's disorienting and depressing for passengers, and basically it makes public transit even less appealing.

The Aggressive Exit: When the bus comes to a complete stop, there's usually a 1-2 second window where the rear doors have not been activated to allow passengers to exit. And yet it's still plenty of time for people to lose their goddamn minds. I saw a guy grab both handles and force this way out in order to save a millisecond. You could hear the distinct grinding sound of parts breaking inside the door as he did it. I've seen people slam their bodies into the door as if they were a rabid gorilla trying to escape a burning cage. Calm down, Coco. I want to get off as soon as possible too, but all it takes is a light nudge on the handles and the doors will swing open like magic. This is an automatic door, not a prison break.

The Aggressive Entry: You would think that adults would understand simple concepts like this one: in order to get on the bus, you must first allow others to get off. Two objects may not occupy the same space simultaneously. Whether it's a public bus or an elevator, people just can't wait to shove their stupid bodies into the next available area. It makes about as much sense as trying to eat while throwing up.

Seat Hoarders: Even when a bus is jam packed with people, there will still be individuals who try to keep as many seats to themselves because they are horrible human beings. Guess what, Grandma, if there are dozens of people standing on the bus, it's basic courtesy to scoot over to the window seat and free up that additional spot. Plus - this may surprise you - your bag is not a person. Move it to the floor, your lap, or sit on it for all I care. It doesn't deserve a whole seat to itself.