I’ve arrived back in Korea after yet another long and tiresome flight. I only had the one connecting flight and most of my time in the air was between Toronto and Seoul.
As you well know, any flight exceeding the 6 hour mark is boring and awful beyond reason. My flight was more than 13 hours. There is only so much time your body will allow being crammed in a tiny uncomfortable seat; tired and not sleeping, not hungry but being fed.
But like any gruelling test of human endurance, creativity is key to help pass the time and keep the mind sharp. Here is a breakdown of some of the best ways to entertain yourself on an airplane flying machine:
- Without revealing location, go and use one of the washrooms, then after returning to your seat allow your travel mate to then inspect the washrooms and guess which one you used. Note: this activity requires a friend, family member, or an open-minded fellow passenger.
- See how many times you can “accidentally” push the button that summons a flight attendant before you are struck.
- Stand up suddenly and shout, “A BOMB … ardier is a member of a military aircraft crew.”
- Whenever the drink cart comes around compete with a friend to see who can ask for the most idiotic drinks such as coconut milk, chai tea, sea water, papaya juice, vitamin cola, melonade, etc. Score one point for each request, and 5 points if the attendant becomes fed up and walks away.
- See how any pillows you can steal from other passengers. Use them to build a fort.
- Attempt to climb up into the overhead compartments. When someone stops you, begin to cry and complain that you just wanted to lie down.
- Bring a long shoelace with you. Take one of those hard rolls from a meal and save it, along with a little bottle of water. When the person seated next to you falls asleep, thread the shoelace through the bun and tie the end so you have a bun on a rope. Carefully soak the bun with water, but not so much that it dissolves apart. While holding on to the shoelace, cast the soggy bun over the seats ahead of you. Immediately drop the free end of the shoelace in your fellow passenger’s lap and then pretend to be asleep as well. Brace yourself.
September 22, 2008
September 10, 2008
Mow, mow, mow. How do you like it? How do you like it?!!
Well, I'm a mere week away from my return to Korea to resume teaching shenanigans. I finished my current job at the beginning of September and have been keeping myself busy since. How are you keeping yourself busy, you ask.
Mowing grass.
Yeah, that's about it. It's an around the clock unending job in itself. My father's property is about three acres of obstacles to mow around. What makes the job harder is only having one gas mower to do it with; a mower that is at death's door.
Plus, with the unpredictable weather that Nova Scotia provides, a day planned for catching up with cutting grass can turn into a panicked run for shelter from a downpour. When the grass is wet, it's impossible to cut, but waiting for it to dry means risking another rain shower, and more grass growing. I can wait days for it to dry and still feel like I'm mowing a field of coleslaw. You push through three metres of slightly damp grass and the whole works clog up, the blades struggle, and you have to stop and dig it out by hand. That's a kind of fun you only read about in magazines. Bullshit Mowing Monthly, for example.
By the time I've finished, the parts I initially cut a few days ago are already looking shaggy, and you pretty much have to tackle it right then and there in case it rains and becomes out of control. At this point I see the virtues of paving it over.
Mowing grass.
Yeah, that's about it. It's an around the clock unending job in itself. My father's property is about three acres of obstacles to mow around. What makes the job harder is only having one gas mower to do it with; a mower that is at death's door.
Plus, with the unpredictable weather that Nova Scotia provides, a day planned for catching up with cutting grass can turn into a panicked run for shelter from a downpour. When the grass is wet, it's impossible to cut, but waiting for it to dry means risking another rain shower, and more grass growing. I can wait days for it to dry and still feel like I'm mowing a field of coleslaw. You push through three metres of slightly damp grass and the whole works clog up, the blades struggle, and you have to stop and dig it out by hand. That's a kind of fun you only read about in magazines. Bullshit Mowing Monthly, for example.
By the time I've finished, the parts I initially cut a few days ago are already looking shaggy, and you pretty much have to tackle it right then and there in case it rains and becomes out of control. At this point I see the virtues of paving it over.
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