A Crock of Clock

I'm tired today. Probably because we lost an hour last night. Thank you, daylight saving time.

What a bunch of crap that is. This whole Daylight Saving stuff is one big conspiracy. It's just another way for the man to control us. Keep us confused and distracted while Uncle Sam dips into our pockets and takes his share.

In all honesty, who is benefiting from this system? People who like to be late or early for work twice a year? Or people who love to spend an afternoon resetting all the clocks in their home. It's not even like this is a universally accepted practice; about half the world doesn't use it at all. Obviously it can't be such a good idea. Even we as a country can't decide: Manitoba observes daylight savings, but Saskatchewan doesn't.

And it's always throwing people off when they have to figure out which way the clocks will be adjusted:

Are we moving them forward or back?

What season is this? Was it fall back or fall forward? Spring back? Spring up and Fall down?

Wait, do we do this now, or tomorrow morning when we get up?

I thought it changes at midnight?

No, I heard it was two o'clock. Does it matter?

It does to me, I work the night shift. Maybe I was supposed to be there an hour ago.

What season is this? Does it say on the calendar?

What? You mean about the season, or the daylight savings time?

Uh... It says it begins today.

So do we begin by moving the time forward or back?

I don't know. It doesn't say! All it says is it begins!

Well, should we change it at midnight at the beginning of the day or at midnight at the end of the day?

I told you I think we don't change it until two o'clock!

AM or PM?

I want a divorce!

I think the best system to use, is no system at all. It's real easy to follow and you can use this simple trick to remember. First figure out what season it is, then look at a clock. That's the Goddamn time. Now move on with your life. Don't even get me started about leap year.