The Great Ketchup Drought of '09

Recently I bought a hamburger, as I am likely to do, at the Korean version of McDonald's, known as Lotteria. I bought the hamburger set, because a fatty sandwich just isn't enough without greasy potato sticks and sugar water.

When I brought the food to my table I realized they had given me a single ketchup packet. Just one. I went back to the counter, and (in Korean ) politely asked for more ketchup.

The woman handed me one packet.

I gave her the sort of look that said, "You're kidding, right?" I even thought about asking for more again, but I didn't want to seem like some white guy with an unquenchable thirst for ketchup.

I not to sure what the deal is. If I were in Canada they would have flung a fistful of packets at me and life would move on. Is the economy so bad that we have to ration our ketchup now? I know I didn't order a heaping stack of fries, but it must be obvious that one packet is insufficient. It holds like 3 drops of ketchup. Why not give me a few? I'm a big guy, I can take it.

But one? That's a step away from cutting the packet in two and giving me half.

I remember another time when I went to this place called Kraze Burger and decided to splurge on an expensive western style hotdog. The photo on the menu showed a hotdog piled high with sauerkraut and all the trimmings.

When I received the hotdog, it was a desert. So barren I had to ask why there wasn't any sauerkraut as advertised. The employee insisted that it was there, but my eyes told me otherwise. I didn't want to be a dick, but like I said, it was a stupidly expensive hotdog. So they finally succumbed and gave me a dish of "extra" sauerkraut.

How can I describe so little sauerkraut and do it justice? Hmmm, it was like a quarter of a teaspoon. It was like they took a single strand of sauerkraut, divided that in half lengthwise, chopped up the half-strand, and gave me half of what remained.

I was boggled to say the least. Why can't I get some sauerkraut in Korea? Korea's most popular, most recognized food is kimchi, a fermented cabbage side dish. That's what sauerkraut is!! Korea is the king of fermented foods! There are 187 documented varieties of kimchi, and yet these hotdog peddlers are clinging to their kraut like they just opened they last container on earth! I just don't get it.

I want to live in a world where I can over sauce and drench my food in every way I deem necessary! Even if that means asking for more ketchup eight times in a row.