The Ice Fog Cometh

Upon checking the weather online earlier today I saw the current weather condition listed as "Ice Fog". Sounds dangerous, like the sort of thing you'd miss work over:

Ring ring

"Hello."

"Hello, Mr. Henderson. This is Carl. I'm calling to let you know that I will not be able to make it to work today."

"Is that so? Why's that?"

"Well ... I'm not sure if you've been watching the weather channel, but looks like we've got a case of Ice Fog rolling in."

"... And?"

"And that's why I can't come into work. It's treacherous outside, Mr. Henderson. I'll have to wait and see if this clears up."

"Carl, this is no excuse. Ice Fog is not dangerous, so be here for your shift."

"No excuse!? Do you even know what Ice Fog is!?"

" ... Not exactly. Isn't it just a freezing fog or something?"

"So, what you're saying is that you want me to risk my life out in that freezing mist of death, just because you can't recognize a threatening weather condition?"

"Now, Carl-"

"Would you want to go out for a stroll in something called Fire Fog? I bet you wouldn't! So what makes you think Ice Fog is any less dangerous?"

"But that's crazy, there's no such th-"

"Have you even looked out a window lately, Mr. Henderson? The visibility outside is a joke. I'd be lucky to get to the end of my driveway before sentient icicles tear me to shreds."

"What are you talking about? Sentient icicles?"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I was just speculating a bit. We can't be sure what kills you when you disappear into the icy white abyss of the Ice Fog. I mean, there's still a good chance that your blood simply freezes solid in your veins and your face shatters or something."

"Carl! I have no idea what you're going on about, but this conversation is over! Your shift starts in twenty minutes, and if you're not here, you'll be out of job."

"But Mr. Henderson!"

"What!?"

"I'm sorry I've overreacted a bit. But may we both be logical about this situation?"

" ... yes."

"Okay then, alright. So would you agree that the safety of your employees is important?"

"I would."

"And would you agree that you've already admitted that you have no idea what Ice Fog is?"

"Well, I think it's just some sort of frost-"

"Are you a meteorologist?"

"No."

"So you can't tell me exactly what Ice Fog is, or does?"

"Well no, but I know it's not dangerous!"

"How can you not know what something is, yet know something about it?"

"Uh..."

"Look, would you agree that icy conditions can be dangerous?"

"Of course they can be."

"And would you agree that not being able to see icy conditions is even more dangerous?"

"Well...yes. Absolutely."

"So ... if we are in agreement here, you want me to journey out into some unknown weather phenomenon that poses an obvious double threat? You believe there's nothing unsafe about me wandering out blindly into a slippery cold wasteland? Is that right?"

"Uh...Good lord! How will I get home?"

"Just stay calm, Mr. Henderson. As long as we stay indoors, I think it'll be alright. I'd stay away from the windows too."

"Oh God, oh God. My wife is out Christmas shopping. She may be caught right in the middle of it! I have to call her and warn her!"

"Yes, be sure to tell her not to breath the fog. It may turn her into a snowman."

"Good thinking. Stay safe, Carl."

"I will, Mr. Henderson. I will."

click