November 27, 2010

Pre-Pre-Christmas Prep

There's snow on the ground and it's beginning to feel like Christmas. You know when it didn't feel like Christmas? The morning after Halloween. But that didn't stop every goddamn store from busting out the holiday decorations and Christmas goods on November 1st. I didn't even have time to blow out the candle on my jack-o-lantern before I was waist deep in colored lights and tinsel.

I love the Mass of Christ as much as the next garland stringin' fool, but I don't need it to last 3 months. It's 12 days of Christmas for a reason.

Speaking of the 12 Days of Christmas, what a lousy song. It's too damn long. How many times have you given up around eight maids a milking because you knew Jingle Bells doesn't require concentration. I'll tell you how many times ... 38. That's a lot. It's like 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall: the Christmas carol.

That is all. Please carry on with your 60+ days of holiday shopping. And to the rest of you, I'll see you at walmart near closing time on Christmas eve.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

If the Christma$ Season is longer, then we will buy more stuff. And keep the receipts, in case your loved ones want to exchange their gifts.

Shaven Cocknballs said...

Why am I still reading a post from Nov 27th, when it is Clearly Dec 2nd! Outraged, utterly utterly outraged, you can take you badge back!

RyHoMagnifico said...

I walked into a Superstore on October 22nd and it was completely, wall-to-wall decorated for Christmas. Not just a little bit. Completely.

They had fruit cake out, Christmas trees and other holiday-themed foods and treats.

I stood outside staring at a Christmas tree, which was standing next to the pumpkin stand in awe for at least five minutes.

This shit is just insane.