It Slices, it Dices, Who Cares!?

Full Circle, Square, Triangle, X

An observation:

From the seventies to early nineties, video arcades were a common sight in western malls and shopping areas. It was a great opportunity to play unique games with guns, mallets, footpads, steering wheels and other interactive controls.

Then the nineties rolled on and the arcades slowly disappeared as home consoles got better and better. Nowadays they've pretty much vanished besides the few aging machines occasionally at the cinemas. Japan still has an arcade culture, but it seems to be more for prodigious rhythm game players, people gambling on virtual horse races, and those who find it amusing to jam plastic fingers into asses.

After the arcades died a strange thing occurred, home consoles began offering odd game accessories and add-ons like guns, bongos, dance mats, maracas, cameras, etc. This trend actually started long before arcades went away, but it only intensified at the turn of the millennium. In the last five years we've seen the birth and rise of the Nintendo Wii, Guitar Hero, and Rock band which have caused gamers to jump around their living rooms with plastic instruments or swing their arms wildly with motion controllers.

The age of the peripheral is reaching critical mass as people are seriously running out of room for fake drum sets. Now with the announcement of two more motion control systems at E3, and the marketing of Tony Hawk's motion-sensing skateboard or DJ Hero's turntable controller, the picture is clear. Once we went to the arcade to try something new and play in very physical ways, but now that experience happens in our own living rooms. Shooters with guns, music with instruments, and sports with physical movement.

The arcade has been reborn ... in every home that is willing to collect these devices. The only difference is that we used to pay a handful of quarters to jump around like a moron, and now it's costing us hundreds of dollars.

Crypts and Cryptics

Things I Hate: Parents Suck Edition

Parents Who Let Their Kids Run Amok

You know what I'm talking about. These halfwit parents who seem to think there's no problem with letting their sugar-filled children run around public places disturbing all manner of civility. They plague almost any place you might want to go: theatres, malls, restaurants, outdoors in general. Children screaming and knocking things over while their parents talk on cellphones or stare depressingly into the middle distance and wonder where their life went wrong. Snap out of it, lady! And please tell Blake, or Chaz, or Gabe, or whatever his name is, to sit down and shut up! It sucks that these kids have no manners, but the parents suck more for not teaching them any.

Parents Who Are Tyrants

This might seem like the opposite of the first one, but really I'm talking about parents who are burdening their children with all their personal hopes and dreams, and pushing them far too hard at too young an age. If teaching in Korea has taught me anything, it's that some parents will do anything to force their children to succeed in a competitive world. In one particular example, I've heard tell of a young girl in the first grade who had to attend public school, several private academies, do online lessons, and complete homework assigned by her own mother. She's in the first grade!! Why is she doing four sets of homework? That's child abuse! It sounds like this child would have barely enough time to sleep, let alone play with her friends and do other important carefree things that make childhood joyful. Mom and Dad, stop suffocating your children with work and structure!

Parents Who Are Anti-Video Games

This is ongoing debate that is certainly not going to be solved here, but I'll throw in my two cents. I won't even try to tackle the whole "video games promote violent behaviour" issue, but simply complain about the "video games make children lazy and dumb" issue. I hate that statement because it's about as stupid as the parents who make it. For some reason parents want to attack video games for creating a generation of inactive social introverts. I guess because when you play games you sit in one spot, indoors, and that's about it. Well how is that different from tons of other activities? Writing, drawing, watching TV, using a computer; these are all activities that keep you fairly immobile. And how about reading!? Parents are always pushing their kids to read and study, but what is more inactive than that? You can't read Shakespeare while mountain biking. Yet no one attacks books for making kids lazy. I played games all throughout my childhood and I still found plenty of time to play outdoors, get exercise, breathe fresh air, and expand my imagination.

Also, parents who think reading is going to make kids smarter than playing games have obviously never seen a Japanese RPG. Studying history would be a relief from the reading required to play those games. I'm not saying games are going to make you smarter or boost your reflexes and coordination, but they are certainly not going to make you stupid. It's not a passive experience; you make choices and become engaged with characters and stories. A parent who is concerned about their child being lazy and dumb should get involved in various activities with them and teach them something. Instead these parents who are angry at their kids for playing video games too much, probably have their own asses parked in front of the TV.

Another Coat of Paint

As you may notice, the site has changed a little bit. There's no real purpose behind it besides trying something new. Since the rest of the Internet changes and updates twice an hour, I figured I would too. I went with a simple clean look, but I'm open to suggestions.

Not to worry though, everything is still in its usual place and I will continue to supply as many jokes and drawings my free time will allow. Thanks again to anyone who has taken the time to read something here.

Rock rock on.

Good Morning, Body Pudding

Sally woke up and went to the bathroom to get ready for work. She washed her face with her favorite honey and oat facial scrub, then grabbed her toothbrush.

After brushing her teeth with cinnamon toothpaste, then using her citrus mouthwash and mint floss, she hopped in the shower. She washed her long dark hair with oatmeal brown sugar shampoo and then a vanilla cream conditioner. After rinsing her hair she cleansed her body with banana and pear body yogurt and then a series of strawberry, olive, and papaya shower gels.

Out of the shower and dried, she proceeded to moisturize herself with a slew of lotions, creams, and balms. Wild cherry for the body, peppermint for the feet, coconut for the hands, and strawberry for the lips. She then sprawled out in a wading pool filled with aloe for her daily soak, while a team of servants rubbed her naked body with pineapple rings and applied a rich satsuma glaze.

After breaking free of the satsuma shell she rolled around on a pile of pumpkin innards, cranberries, and goat milk while the servants flung handfuls of almond extract in her direction. Once the thrashing concluded Sally dove down a Slip 'n' Slide coated with mango body butter and slammed into a pile of tree oils, seaweed, and vitamin E.

Later, as she exited her apartment feeling revitalized and youthful, she was devoured by a group of hungry joggers.

Cindy Day of the Dead

You know what? I don't care if that reference is lost on most people. I took it there and I'm proud.

If it happens in the sky, it'll probably be different when it reaches earth.

Brace Thyself for Adorable

Just thought I would share this drawing a student of mine did of yours truly. This is easily the cutest depiction of me ever. It's also incredibly accurate. My family and friends can confirm that my eyes are the size of dinner plates, and my head is the size of a bean bag chair.

Now I finally know what I'd look like if I were a Pokemon trainer.