Moo-thousand and Nine

Now there's a terrible joke to kick things off.

Happy New Year to all in the electric fun-dome I call the Internet. Hope the year is already treating everyone well. With 2009's arrival, it marks the two year anniversary of Turnipism. For those of you who wish to send me stuff in celebration, I'll remind you that the traditional gift for the second anniversary is cotton.

And for those of you who follow Chinese Astrology, I'll remind you that 2009 is the year of the ox/cow. I don't know the significance of that, but here are some fun facts about cows:

1) Cows have the ability to destroy anything with their mind. Luckily, they're too busy eating to use that ability.

2) Cows are delicious from the knees up.

3) A cow can win a race against a cheetah. But only if the cheetah is dead, and the cow is being pushed with a plow.

4) Cows have four stomachs! One for food, one for water, one for plastic, and one for the hell of it.

5) Cows have no idea what year it is.

There you go. A little knowledge to pass on to your children. Thanks again for reading, and here's to another year of wacky random shit!