Rogue Staplers
Why is it when you refill your stapler and insert that fresh row of staples there's no good way to close the damn thing without using up one of those staples? Goddamn, I hate that! I know you're thinking, "But c'mon, you can't possible care about wasting one lousy staple." That's not the point! Most staplers I used throughout my life are like that, and it's just irritating. It's a design flaw! It would be like reloading your gun and having one bullet fire off for no reason. I just want to be able to close the stapler without having one staple fly off into the carpet, and then later catch it under a toenail when I'm walking barefoot.Static Electricity
I once thought static electricity was all fun, and games, and balloons magically sticking to the wall, but I've learned better now. The dry winter weather combined with all my warm clothing being 'fuzzy' has resulted in the perfect storm of static. My winter coat is now a ticking time bomb, and every time I take it off I get zapped a few dozen times on my arms, back, ass, and legs. Painful zaps. At night when I'm in bed if I lift the blanket and shuffle my legs around I can see bolts of static lightning and they light up the darkness. I'll admit it's entertaining at times, but I'm afraid I'll roll over in the night and ignite. I'm pretty sure any story you've ever heard about spontaneous combustion was due to somebody dragging their feet on the carpet and then reaching for a metal floor lamp.That Stuff They Use To Clean the Stairs in the Building Where I Work
I don't know what on earth it could be, but it looks like pink toothpaste, reeks, and I hate it. I work on the third floor at an academy right near the stairs, so the sulfurous fumes waft in all day. Apparently it's a good way to clean stairs but it smells like they're lighting armfuls of matches made of ass. It's just gross. I'm really tempted to buy the cleaning lady something else to use that's lemon scented, but until then she'll be scrubbing the floor with farts.
1 comment:
Despite the smell, farts are actually clinically proven to clean stairs better than ANYTHING. Next time you eat beans, go down your stairs on a krazy karpet buck naked...see if you don't end up with the cleanest stairs ever and a smile on your face.
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