I hate shaving. Not just because it's a tedious chore to maintain my pudgy baby-like visage, but because it usually leaves me bleeding out the face. I've used the 2 blade disposables, the Mach 3's, and the overkill Quattro's. They all achieve equal results with an equal number of accidents.
Years ago I bought an electric razor thinking that it would solve all my problems. I'd watched my father use one, my grandfather use one, so why not me? An easy shaving experience without the bloodbath? Sign me up! Think of all the money I'll save when I don't have to buy shaving foam and replacement blades. Sadly, the razor sucked ass. I used it for a few months before giving up and letting it collect dust in a cabinet.
I received another electric razor as a gift years down the road and decided to give it another go. I figured my facial hair was thicker and more developed for the harsh realities of electric shaving. I was wrong. I was left with the same irritating struggle and soon gave up.
Which brings me to last year. As if some strange amnesia fell upon me, I decided to get ANOTHER electric razor. This time I dropped a fair chunk of change thinking that it would lead to a higher quality product and higher quality results. Well, after using it for many months I've come to the clear conclusion:
Electric razors are bullshit. They are complete garbage and it's always the same goddamn story! I can't completely shave my face. It's like some hairs are invulnerable to it. I can stand there rubbing my face raw for 30 minutes and still have stray untouched hairs sticking out and mocking me. I try everything; approaching from different angles, using different levels of pressure, circular motions, side to side, swiping, stabbing. It's all useless. Sure, I'm not cutting myself, but now it feels like I've been shaving with a dildo made of sandpaper.
And when I do finally finish "shaving" (not because I'm satisfied, but because I've been defeated) I'm left with the farthest thing from a close shave. A 40 cent disposable razor will give me a nice clean shave that'll last, but when I use an electric razor my five o'clock shadow is hours early. It's so much bullshit I'd throw up if wasn't already in agony.
So that's my rant. Electric razor's suck, I hope you never buy one. You're better off shaving with an arrowhead, broken glass, or one of those wind-up chattery teeth toys.
7 comments:
I used to use an electric razor (although not on my face), and I came to the same conclusion: They suck. As do most women's razors. My weapon of choice these days is a men's Mach 3 Turbo (I'm not exactly sure what the difference actually is between that and the regular Mach 3, but I like them better).
The hubby also finds shaving to be somewhat traumatic on his flesh, but seems to have had pretty good results with some of the slightly higher-end products, like the L'Oreal or the Nivea mancare lines for sensitive skin or whatever they call them.
oddly enough i shaved this morning. it had been three weeks after all. i am quite happy to beard and my beards only get better with age.
luckily for me, as i'll bet you anything that i hate shaving a lot more than you do. so i don't. ha.
i mock your pain!
Kingshearte - So you're using Mach 3 Turbo's and your husband is using L'Oreal products? Something is strangely backwards in the shaving industry.
Cole - I would totally beard it hardcore if I could live with the insane itchiness a few days into growth. I try to hold off as long as I can, but it comes down to shaving or going mad.
there's that awful word again...
Heh. Pretty much. If it helps, though, he also uses Mach 3s, and I use suitably girly shave gel.
You don't beard cause of the itchiness? You obviously never shaved your nuts or ass. Try to answer a phone when you got one hand down the front of your pants, and the other down the back.
Horrifying.
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