January 6, 2014

Wheel of Forever

How has Wheel of Fortune remained on the air for so long? It's been around for as long as I can remember with only minor changes to the show's design. What was the original pitch like?

"Okay, here's the deal. It's gonna be this gameshow, right? It'll be like hangman for adults-"

"Boring."

"Hold on, you win money by guessing letters."

"Money, you say? I'm listening."

"Okay, so you have this giant wheel they have to spin."

"Like 'The Price is Right'?"

"No, not like 'The Price is Right'... well, kind of... okay it's exactly like that, but the wheel won't be standing up, it'll be on the ground. It'll be real big, real heavy, real loud, and awkward as heck to reach, and the contestants will have to spin it every damn turn."

"Sounds like that would get repetitive pretty quick. How about just doing the wheel thing during the final round?"

"No, for the entire show! Every turn, I told you! It's all about this fucking wheel and spinning it. We're even going to name the show after the wheel."

"Really? I thought it would be called 'Hangman' or something like that."

"No. It'll be called 'Lucky Wheel' or 'Go Go Money Wheel', I haven't figured that part out yet."

"I don't know about this..."

"Shut-up. It's brilliant. We'll have a beautiful woman up there revealing the letters as they guess them."

"Well, we probably could save some money and just rig up something to reveal the letters automatically."

"Yeah, right! Then the show is over in 8 minutes and then what? I'm telling you. One lady up there wearing a new dress every day for the next 45 years."

"Look, I'm all for the beautiful lady idea, but we can change that person up every couple years or so."

"To hell with that! All you do is find some girl that doesn't age at the normal rate, is good at clapping, and doesn't mind doing an activity that's essentially meaningless. Plus we'll get some guy to host the show and have him sign a contract for life. I want this guy to watch contestants guess letters until he dies. Preferably on the air, right onto the wheel."

"... (sigh)... I guess we could give it a shot for a season. But I'm telling you, no one is going to watch people spin a big dumb wheel while playing a children's game."

"Oh yes they will. This wheel will outlive us all!"

"Please sit down."

2 comments:

kingshearte said...

I found this so entertaining that I just did a dramatic reading of it for my husband. He laughed too.

Shane said...

This news truly warms my heart. I wish I had been there.

All hail, the Great Wheel!