March 7, 2007

Stick This in his Mouth

Today I offer you the defining difference between American children and Korean children: Korean children enjoy things like octopus jerky. I know for sure because they were eating it in my classroom today. A group of delighted boys tearing strips of octopus off a smelly dried chunk and sharing it amongst themselves.

You wont see that in America. No elementary students are eyeing each others lunchboxes for that kind of trade.

"I'll give you my dried squid for your Dunk-a-roos."

"Why don't you get the hell out of my face, fag?"

"But it has minerals..."

"Oh God, don't open the package near me! It reeks!"

Yeah, western kids got no time for fish. They're too busy enjoying their Fruit roll-ups, Go-gurts, Gummi Worms, Lunchables, Gushers, S'mores, Butterfingers, Peanut Butter Cups, Tootsie Rolls, Twinkies, Pringles, Pork Rinds, Cheerios, Doritos, Cheetos, Fritos, Tostitos, Ringalos, Nachos, Burritos, Oreos, Eggos, Cream-sicles, Fudge-sicles, Popsicles, Soda Pops, Corn Pops, Popcorn, Pop Rocks, Pop Tarts, Pizza Pops, Hot Pockets, Pizza Pockets, Pizza Bagels, Bagel-Bites, Bits and Bites, Cool Whip, Miracle Whip, Licorice Whips, Krispy Kremes, Coffee Crisp, Crispie Crunch, Crunch & Munch, Cap'n Crunch, Crispy Crunchies, Chocolate Chips, Cookie Crisps, Cocoa Krispies, Cocoa Pebbles, Cocoa Puffs, Cheese Puffs, String cheese, and Cheese Whiz.

You know, good stuff for kids to eat.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Man, you should have told me you were going to do another entry dedicated to rap! That was pure gangsta!